Today’s young men are eagerly seeking role models for manhood that fit in more with American author, statesman, military hero, and past president, George Washington, than they do with today’s cultural drift. This past week, I heard two young men address the subject of manhood in separate interviews. At the same time, one of our readers shared an article that I wrote about George Washington’s Rules for Civility, which Washington authored as a teenager.
Here are some excerpts from the 2019 article that I hope you will find interesting and encouraging. And, thank you to the reader for sharing my article!
“Spring is generally a time of personal reflection and renewal. Americans take up activities like physical fitness boot camps, spring cleaning, self-denial during the Lenten season… Okay. I can almost hear you adding March Madness to the list. 🙂
Some of George Washington’s practices remind me of these early spring rituals. Thanks for joining us as we continue in our study of “Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation” (Applewood Books, 1988).
Role Models and Reputation
Washington took seriously the rules for how to walk, eat, and converse. His sense of morality governed his behavior in all interactions. Take, for example, Rule #56: “Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.” It’s my understanding that teens who FaceTime more than they have face-to-face conversations are some of the loneliest people. Washington would say that it is better to be alone than to be with people who bring out our lowest common denominator. What is a man or woman of good quality, if not someone who calls you to a higher standard of excellence when you are with them? Washington seemed to understand at a young age that a lifetime of building a good reputation can be torn down in an instant. Therefore, he valued solitude over a passing desire to hang with people who would appeal to his lower nature. Americans would do well to spring clean their list of friends once in a great while. I have done this in the past. It is hard but sometimes necessary.
Additionally, Rule #58 seems to indicate that Washington not only wanted quality friendships. He strove to guard his own walk and talk. “Let your conversation be without malice or envy, for it is a sign of a tractable and commendable nature; and in all cases of passion admit reason to govern.” Man, oh man. Americans have turned malice (hostility, animosity, ill-will) into a sport on social media. I see this routinely as I manage the comments on this page. I’m convinced malice happens because it is so much easier to say the unthinkable when you are not in the presence of your perceived online enemy.
The Remedy
I think Washington would remind us to type out our venting, walk away from it, come back, and delete it. Don’t hit the “send” button. When in doubt, don’t say it. After all, the passion he talks about isn’t a love affair. It is anger unleashed. Instead, Washington reminds us to be reasonable. In other words, get a grip!
These rules for civility are goals to reach for, not medals of honor to be achieved. So, if you’ve “lost it” or hit “send” when you shouldn’t have today, take comfort that as Americans, our journey is on the road to excellence, not perfection. Role models aren’t perfect. However, they strive to lead with excellence.
The Lesson
I learned from younger men that the road to manhood is doing the things you don’t want to do.
Maybe you don’t feel like going to work. Go anyway.
Maybe you want to unleash a verbal battle on someone. Communicate with civility anyway.
Maybe life’s crooked road is more attractive. Take the straight road anyway.
Maybe the upcoming generation holds promise for us. Some young men have looked around and decided the most popular, modern definition of manhood isn’t the best for them. They want to be more like George Washington.
This is Common Sense Civics and Citizenship. 🇺🇸
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